BrOkEn ArRoW

To the broken heart who broke my arrow

Thou shall never part from the clouds that linger in my sky

One sweet whisper and I ask one mild wind blow

But thine heart made rain fell and water thy blooming buds

Thine arrow long to see a new dawn by the sunset

And the moon hugging the sunshine

But a broken arrow can never shoot a heart again

Falling for a broken heart, is what an arrow should regret

But regretting is what an arrow doesn’t do

Even if breaking makes it blue

The sky is all that gives refuge

• You consider a tongue depressor an eating utensil.
• You have ever tried to identify what a patient ate last by examining the barf on your shoes.
• You knock before entering a room, knowing full well the only patient in there is the one that just died!
• You've ever basted your Thanksgiving turkey with a Toomey syringe!
• You're at the grocery store, look down and notice you have at least 2 body fluids on you shoes and it doesn't bother you.
• You refer to idiot patients as CNS-QNS [central nervous system - quantity not sufficient].
• When asked, "Are you the nurse on tonight?" You want to respond, "No, I just like dressing up as a nurse and hanging around because I have nothing better to do!"
• You've ever had a patient whose positive pregnancy test prompts her to call the next day and ask if you can tell who the father is?
• You've ever rolled your eyes when the 14 year-old says, "No, I've never had sex"?
• You've ever told a confused patient your name was that of your co-worker and to HOLLER if they need help?
• You've ever passed on the green stuff at the buffet because you are certain you suctioned it from a patient earlier?
• You know it's a full moon without having to look at the sky.
• You've developed a crease between your brows from trying NOT to inhale the various human secretions you've encountered over the years.
• Eating microwave popcorn out of a clean bedpan is perfectly natural.
• You've been exposed to so many x-rays that you consider it a form of birth control.
• Your bladder can expand to the same size as a Winnebago's water tank.
• Your shoes have been seized and quarantined by either the Centers for Disease Control, OSHA, the EPA or the Nuclear Regulatory Commission.
• You believe Tylenol, Advil, or Excedrin provides a large part of your daily calorie intake requirements.
• You think that Prom tickets should have coupons good for one free gastric lavage.
• If the hems of your scrub pants are held in with 3.0 suture, steri-strips or rubber bands.
• You avoid unhealthy looking COPDers in the mall for fear that they'll drop near you and you'll have to do CPR on your day off.
• You've ever pretended to sneeze and at the same time thrown KY jelly on a co-workers sleeve to make them think they got shot with a hocker.
• You've ever held a 14-gauge needle over someone's vein and said, "Now your going to feel a little stick."
• You've ever sworn your going to have "NO CODE" tattooed to your chest.
• You can identify the 'PID Shuffle" and the "Kidney Stone Squirm" at 15 feet.
• You've ever had to contend with someone who thinks constipation for 4 hours is an emergency.
• You've ever listed a patient's chief complaint as "I'm drunk".
• You refer to motorcyclists as organ donors.
• You've ever had a patient with a nose ring, a brow ring and twelve ear rings say, "I'm afraid of shots."
• You stare at someone in utter disbelief when they actually cover their mouth to cough.
• You've ever thought, "As long as he's got a pulse, I don't care about the rhythm".
• You've ever referred to a body bag as a "to go" bag.
• Your personal triage categories are: Emergent, Urgent, Non-Emergent and Sleeping it Off.
• You don't ask "frequent flyers" their history, you know it by heart.
• You can keep a straight face when a patient responds, "Just two beers."
• You develop Carpal Tunnel Syndrome from constantly locking and unlocking the Narcotic Cabinet.
• You hold on to the bed rails during a defibrillation, just to have something to do on the night shift.
• A trained physician can't recognize the proper anatomy of a female for a catheter, but you get it on the first try.
• You believe that all bleeding stops...eventually.
• You shock someone with an unrecognizable rhythm...until you get one you DO recognize.
• Your idea of a meal break is finishing your coffee before it gets cold
• You've ever bet on someone's blood alcohol level
• Discussing dismemberment over a meal seems perfectly normal
• You believe in the aerial spraying of Prozac
• Your idea of comforting a child includes placing them in a papoose restraint
• You have encouraged obnoxious patients to sign out AMA so you don't have to deal with them any longer
• You believe the government should require a permit to reproduce
• You plan your next meal while performing gastric lavage
• You believe unspeakable evils will befall you if the word 'quiet' is uttered
• You have used the phrase 'health care reform' to terrify your co-workers
• You believe every waiting room should have a Valium salt lick
• You know the local detox center number by heart
• You have handled several 'lost condom' cases
• You have had to leave the patient before you began to laugh uncontrollably
• Your idea of fine dining is sitting down to eat
• You believe chocolate is a food group
• You believe a good tape job will fix anything
• You get an almost irresistible urge to stand and wolf down your food, even in the nicest restaurants
• Your idea of a good time is a Code Blue at shift change
• You firmly believe that if Dilantin, Haldol and Librium were put in the water instead of fluoride, Dentists would be busier, but Nursing would grind to a halt
• You don't believe 90% of what you're told, and 75% of what you see
• You have your weekends off planned a year in advance
• You believe that "shallow gene pool" should be a recognized medical diagnosis
• You have discovered a new condition called "Hypo-Xanax-emia"
• You take it as a compliment when someone calls you a dirty name
• You say to yourself, "Great veins!" when looking at complete strangers at the grocery store
• You refer to someone in severe respiratory distress as a "Smurf"
• Your idea of a good time is dueling shock rooms
• You've ever had a patient look you dead in the eye and say, "I don't know how that got stuck in there"
• You have ever wanted to reply yes when someone calls the ER and asks "Is my (husband, wife, mother, etc....) there?"
• You have ever restrained someone...and it wasn't a sexual experience
• You believe a "Supreme Being" consult is your patient's only hope
• You have ever had a patient say, "I'm not pregnant, I can't be pregnant! I can't be having a baby!"
• You have ever had a patient control his seizures when offered food
• Your feet are slightly fatter and tougher than Fred Flintstones
• Your immune system is well developed that it has been know to attack and kill squirrels in the backyard
• You have recurrent nightmares of being hit and run over by the portable x-ray machine
• You call tell the difference between a Doctor's Order and the ground around a chicken farm
• You call burn victims "crispy critters"
• You call subcutaneous emphysema "Rice Krispies"
• Your diet consists of food that has gone through more processing than most computers
• You have referred to someone's death as a transfer to the eternal care unit
• Your favorite hallucinogenic is exhaustion
• You think caffeine should be available in I.V. form
• Your most common assessment question is "what changed tonight to make it an emergency after 6 (hours, days, weeks, months, years)?"
  
  
  • You have witnessed the charge nurse muttering down the hallway, "Who's in charge of this mess anyway?"